I AM ENGAGED. I AM GETTING MARRIED. I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
p.s.--stay tuned for details.:)

So yesterday my boyfriend Aaron sent a name of a songstress he thought I might like. He was right, he knows me well. WELL, that was the beginning of a revelation. So the girl he sent me is named Kate Voegele. [sidebar: her cover of hallelujah is pretty sweet, not quite brooke fraser singing sound of silence, but very nice.] I clicked on this video of her and as I watched her sing and prance around I realized something. EVERY songstress in the indie/acoustic world (and their are many ways to be acoustic) dresses the same! I looked at my sister and I was like "oh my goodness."

v neck tee. check.

necklaces of varying length. check.

long layered hair with swOOping bang. check (the other option is short funky hair)

vest and/or Mr. Roger's,but cool, inspired cardigan. check.

skinny jeans. check.

light make up, emphasis on eyeliner.check.

3-5 cool and jazzy rings, spread over both hands. check

I said all of this outloud and my sister Heather burst out laughing. We both were laughing because it's so true! Then I said: " i am blogging about this!" Before I continue I want to make a disclaimer that I think this style is super cute, absolutely nothing wrong with it. In fact I dress like this on occasion..although i have a little too much ba donk a donk for a skinny jean. Really.

I just find it humorous that SO many dress like this. I also find it funny that as I look around PSU I can pick out the girls that want to be there, I would bet money that these girls are way into music and want to BE music.

This whole concept got me thinking about individuality, uniqueness. I think that our American mentality seems to lean toward a desire to be different, new, fresh. You have really arrived when you are doing something nobody else does.(or at least less people do) Trust me, this is not in judgement, I have been there several times. Sheba will appreciate this. I spent a good chunk of my 20th year being unique, hip, cool, trendy. Then I got over myself. Sort of. There are days I am still stuck in that vibe.:) My friends and I may have never said it, scratch that, we did. We thought we were cooler than all these "normals" following what everyone else was doing. I mean c'mon, at least we weren't wearing american eagle and abercrombie, and at least we realized that music and art was better than school!! hahahahahaha. In reality WE were the morons. We were paying a university to skip class and talk about everything that was "cool" in the world. Really, it was just a lot of talk. No regrets though. You live and learn.:) And yeah, I did have a really great time.:)

ANYway. I just want to put it out there that there is VERY few people who are truly "different." First of all, if you were that different you probably wouldn't be that popular. People wouldn't understand you. Second, almost everyone is in some sort of subculture. You may have started out preppy and now think you are different because you are funky, punky, artsy, rocky, etc. And I think that is great, I really do. BUT I guess I want us all to be honest with ourselves. You may have left preppy, but you aren't so different from the prepsters.:) You are just in a different group now.

I don't say all this to judge, truly. In fact, I want us to judge each other less. I think we need to realize that there is nothing wrong with being part of a bigger group. After all, who REALLY wants to be all my themselves? God made us for community! Don't miss out on the bigger community because you are stuck in your "little" community. There are invaluable lessons to be learned from those that are opposite of you.

In closing, all this being said...."Before He formed you in the womb, He knew you." God knew you, still knows you. And yes, there is no one else EXACTLY like you.:)

ps: just for the sake of argument, I am posting some photos of the "songstress" (once again, not hating, they do look good.:)

ummm....sitting in Irvings right now TRYING to finish my homework and these English major snobs are talking, no criticizing. EVERYTHING. Obnoxious to say the least. On the topic of books into movies and how much they suck, this girl says to her friend in response to this "horrible" remake of a book turned movie: "I was so mad I wanted to punch a baby." Ummm that's not funny and hardly necessary. wow.

I LOVE THIS PAINTING. Something about it...it's just sexy, but classy. That is a quality I like very much. I found this while making a pretend brochure on traveling in Spain for class.:) Man I want to go to Spain.....

I used to have a poster on my wall of Albert Einstein. I think he endured various spots of my room(s) for about 5 years. I got the poster in some science store at Navy Pier in Chicago. The poster was actually kind of creepy looking. I remember that I had a friend that didn't like sleeping in my room because you could kind of see his face in the dark. That was funny though.:) The picture itself was a black and white, he wasn't smiling, and his hair is everywhere. I think his hair is awesome, very trademark of Einstein. I mean who was rockin that hairdo in that day? Nobody. Anyway, I haven't had the poster for a while because it was wasn't vibing with my other posters as my style progressed and well, I get bored after a while. Yesterday I found myself wishing I still had it because the statement underneath that picture of him said simply, "I want to know the thoughts of God, the rest are details." I think that is quite the statement for someone so (ehem) brilliant.
The reason I thought of this yesterday was because I spent a lot of time downtown studying/procrastinating/running into people. This gave me ample time to eavesdrop on quite a few conversations. Unintentionally, of course. What am I to do when I am doing mindless work and people are chatting all around me? So, details. Details is what everyone seems to be consumed with. Could be details of a relationship, a class, a job, the weather, their family, their disappointment, etc. I myself, consumed with the details of trying to study for a psych test while facing constant distraction of the details of my life outside of studying.
Details are distracting from experience, from reality, far too often I think.
I do think that details are unavoidable and certainly necessary in some cases, but when all we think about are the details, the pixels if you will, we are never going to get the WHOLE PICTURE.
Albert Einstein was a genius at the details, brilliant. And yet, he wanted to know the thoughts of God because in his BRILLIANCE he realized that there was more. That ultimately, God is all that matters.
When you step outside of your own details you step outside of yourself. Unfortunately, I think that quite a few people spend their whole life consumed with whatever details they find most interesting and never stop to ponder anything bigger than themselves.
I believe that when people do ponder, and find something bigger than themselves (GOD), and in turn commit thier life to HIS control, the details take care of themselves.

Psych test in T-minus 2 hours. One of those necessary details.:)

love is a verb.

Well hello bloggers and internet stalkers. I am a stalker too, it's okay. I welcome you, stalk away. Happy reading!
So I have to study for my Psych test tommorow. I have spent the last hour making this blog, however. I am extremely creative when it comes to procrastinating. That being said, my first blog is gonna be something I came across today when going through my old journal. (also an action of procrastination.) It is part of a song that I started to write about 2 months ago during a frustrating time. In reality it's more of a poem.....because I don't have any chords.... BUT I want it to and imagine it to, soooo....it's a song to me.:)
The song is about my relationship with Jesus and how I get so frustrated with myself at times because I FEEL myself going through the motions rather than really being IN LOVE with my Savior. It is about how I always know that he is what is really going to satisfy me, but I still find myself looking to other things or people for satisfaction. It was impactful for me to read this today because I realized how much God has recently answered the prayer of this song, the prayer of my heart. So here it goes....:)......

Merely dressed as a bride, I walk away from my Groom
I need the clothes of authenticity
There is a weariness in my empty words
They fall to the ground,
Leaving me naked, shamed
Aware of myself.

Chorus:
Lord, I desire more than empty noise from my lips
I want a true love song
So Lord, write the words, the notes that are to be my life's song
Show me the beat of Your heart and the rythm of Your love
That my noise might be sweet to your ears.

That's all I have so far. Who knows if I will finish it! You may have noticed that the title for this blog is inspired from the 4th line of the chorus.:)
Okay back to Psych.

Love is a verb.